It takes a certain amount of nerve to be a writer.
It also helps to have a healthy sense of humor. Here's my writing joke for the day. (Feel free to e-mail me something funny related to writing/publishing/books, and I'll add it to the post as the day progresses. We could all do with a good laugh!)
A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?”the screenwriter asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is--”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” the screenwriter says. “My agent called?”
(I found this on this blog. Enjoy!)
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
ReplyDeleteA voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
I enjoyed all the jokes on your link - thank you:-)
ReplyDeleteOh Matthew,that was a good one....
ReplyDeleteBut Michael yours...was so true ..to see ourselves in a joke
"That's not writing--that's typing."
ReplyDeleteTRUMAN CAPOTE ABOUT
JCK kEROUAC
"pEOPLE WANT TO WHY I DO THIS,WHY I WRITE SUCH GROSS STUFF. I LIKE TO TELL THEM I HAVE THE HEART OF A SMALL BOY--AND I KEEP IT IN A JAR ON MY DESK."
....Stephen King, on himself
Well, Michael....I laughed
And eskimo is having trouble with his car. He has it towed to the local garage.
ReplyDelete'I can't fix it right away, can you come back in an hour', says the mechanic.
An hour later the Eskimo returns and sees the mechanic with his head under the bonnet (hood).
'Can you see what is wrong?'
'Yes, I think you've blown a seal'.
"No I haven't, it's just frost on my moustache!'
Oh, did I mention the Eskimo was an author.
DanPloy....you naughty boy you
ReplyDeleteI was sat in the window seat of my flight watching the remaining passengers board when I saw what I think must have been the most the most beautiful woman I have ever seen coming up the aisle.
ReplyDeleteIncredibly she took the seat beside mine and we exchanged nods.
Half an hour into the flight, as I was trying to think of good opening line, she turned to me and asked if I was travelling on business.
'Yes, I am' I replied, 'And you?'.
'I am going to a book signing', she said, ' my new book has just been published'.
'What is the book about' I asked.
'Sex', she said, 'I write books on sex'.
She saw my reaction.
'Oh, not that sort. I have a team of researchers and we try to debunk some myths about sex; it's all very scientific'.
'For example', she added, 'in one of my early books we researched who are the most romantic men in the world. Traditionally it is thought of as the Frenchmen but we discovered it is in fact the Greeks'.
'And in my latest book we found that the most well endowed men in the world were not the black African men as is often thought, but in fact the Native American man'.
'But I'm sorry, I am talking to much and I haven't even introduced myself. My name is Francesca. What is yours?'
'My name? Oh, my name is Tonto Popodopolous'.
Hilarious! Made my day.
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