All night, the storm raged. Now, in the gray-calm morning, none of the boats were Hal's. And Helen's heart fought between fear and hope. (136 characters)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Microfiction Monday: Lost at Sea?
Welcome to Microfiction Monday, at Stony River: a writing life, where a picture paints 140 characters, or even fewer.[Hate counting letters and spaces? Try Design 215's character counter, which will count for you as you type. Microsoft Word will count for you too, of course, as part of its word count feature under the 'Review' tab.] Here's this week's picture, and my story to go with it.
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Let's hope Hal returns to Helen. Wonderful Microfiction Michael. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThen a sail appeared on the horizon. Her heart was filled with joy!Helen could recognize her Hal's boat from at least 50 miles away! (133 characters)
ReplyDeleteAhhhh! Hang in there Helen!!! :O)
ReplyDeleteBill, Let's hope so.
ReplyDeletekaren a., wow, a microfiction to follow a microfiction. Impressive.
I like your litle story. Just getting the hang of microfition. I guess you have to count the spaces inbetween words as a character?
ReplyDeleteDiane, she looks like she's in for the longhaul.
ReplyDeleteBook Bird Dog, I believe the spaces "count." Thanks for commenting.
I vote for hope to win over fear. :)
ReplyDeleteNicely done!
hope, you've got it! (karen a. ended the story nicely in a hopeful vein.)
ReplyDeleteMichael, I hope you don't mind that my microfiction has three less characters than your's does.
ReplyDeleteFear and hope.....difficult competing emotions to deal with. Very well written.
ReplyDeleteMine is up.
PG
Oh the mighty widow's walk!
ReplyDeletepretty darn good one there Michael
karen a., I'm all over "shorter is sweeter."
ReplyDeletePrayer Girl, thanks for the comment. I look forward to visitng yours.
Suz, I wonder if it was in fact a widow's walk. Looking forward to visiting yours anon.
Terrific one, Michael, as always! Does sound like a widow's walk to me! Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteSylvia
Excellent story! My stomach almost bottomed out when I read this. I hope Hal made it home safely.
ReplyDeleteThis must happen so often throughout the world. Very sad. A clever MM.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week x
An anguished time. Excellently done.
ReplyDeleteA nicely written little story, I liked it very much.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I hope he's okay, very good one.
ReplyDeleteWow - that's an emotional punch for so few characters!
ReplyDeleteAlways go for the hope, right? Well done!
ReplyDeleteHope and fear are such discordant tensions - a high and a low jostling for control! Lovely micro!
ReplyDeleteYour description of the emotions battling within her was fantastic in so few words. This was very well written.
ReplyDeletePoor Helen..HOPE is so crucial in all our lives.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
Mine is up
Have you a Blessed Week!
hugs
shakira
a very critical stage. hope Helen overcomes it :)
ReplyDeletewell penned
Thanks to all of the above for your kind comments. Sylvia K and Shakira: nice to see you both again. I look forward to visitng everyone's MMs during the day. [But first I have to do some work :( ]
ReplyDeleteOOh very romantic and evocative. :O)
ReplyDeleteOh, this is heartbreaking! Great microfiction!
ReplyDeleteEver the fear, ever the hope My 140 Hope your week goes well
ReplyDeleteIt does pull on the heart strings. Well done.
ReplyDeleteYou and Quilly are very clever! You are the only 2 who noted that there was something else beyond the syrupy micro "Still". The clues are "locked" and "a still"...something frozen in time...like a still from a movie...There's the sadness...She dreams of a moment that progresses nowhere...Something happened on the honeymoon!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Greyscale. It's the first time I've been called clever today. Warms the cockles of me heart, it does.
ReplyDeleteOh no--I can only hope that Hal's ship finally does appear on the horizon...Fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week. Cheers!
Man--I would love to write more micro fiction. i find it much harder to write short.
ReplyDeletehang in there Hal!
Great comments, all. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteDawn, I'm a novelist myself, but am finding microfiction to be a blast. The search for the right word is paramount in such a short space. (And the MM community is absolutely brilliant, also!)
I love the phrase about the heart fighting between fear and hope. Well done.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Missing someone is more than just their absence.
ReplyDeleteDave
Dave Wrote This
Aw, Helen -- hang in there and keep hoping!
ReplyDelete